I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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