Already got asked if we're dating
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
