I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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