At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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