I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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