great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
