so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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