Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
