p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
