How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize