I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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