Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
