Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
