Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
