I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
