There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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