you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
