found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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