When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
