There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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