So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
