I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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