Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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