i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
