I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
