So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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