we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You pole danced in your parka.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
