the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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