somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I party with great urgency now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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