I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize