No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
