Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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