Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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