...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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