i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
