Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
