I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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