Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
