Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
