are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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