I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
then he tried to convert me to islam
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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