I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
