There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
