I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dick has a subreddit
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
