Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize