Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
false alarm, still single
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
