weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize