i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
