Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
