my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
