Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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