I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
