you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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