In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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