Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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