i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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