Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
