I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
