My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
false alarm, still single
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
