i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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