I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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