how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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