She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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