Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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