Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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