Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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