I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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